Monday, October 12, 2009

What is our message?

Very near nine years ago, we received news that a newborn boy who we hoped to name Mitchell was not going to join our family as we had hoped.   His birth mom [referred to here as T] changed her mind at the last moment.

This is what I wrote in my journal: 
It has been five days since we've received the news that T's boy was welcomed into arms other than ours.  By God's grace, we have accepted this news as coming from God in love.  It was hard news, painful news, news that has brought many tears from our eyes and those who have been weeping with us.  BUT, we trust that God's arm was not too short to bring this baby to us if it had been His good pleasure to do so...we also trust that He has not disappointed us out of cruelty, but out of love.  We grieve, but we do not despair.  God is all-powerful and He is good.
The manifestations of His love through the body of Christ have moved me to tears as often as the pain I have felt in my heart...we have been carried in God's arms of mercy and are filled with thankfulness for His compassion and comfort and His people, for the simple providences like songs that come on the radio, the call from our caseworker extending T's apology, the cards and phone calls and hugs and tears of friends, etc...our God is faithful and He is all-wise...we trust that this too is being worked by Him for our good and His glory.
My good friend Gina sent me this quote from "The Life and Letters of Janet Erskine Stuart" in response to her hearing the news: 
She delighted in seeing her plan upset by unexpected events, saying that it gave her great comfort and that she looked on such things as an assurance that God was watching over her stewardship and was securing the accomplishment of His will and working out His own designs.  Whether she traced the secondary causes to the prayer of a child, to the imperfection of an individual, to obstacles arising from misunderstandings or to interference of outside agencies, she was joyfully and graciously ready to recognize the indication of God's ruling hand and to allow herself to be guided by it.
Can we recognize God's ruling hand when we see our plans upset?  I long to say yes with greater faithfulness, for I still respond according to my old nature all too often. I heard once that when we suffer, in whatever way (loss, sickness, injury, persecution, etc) that it is like God holding a megaphone up to our life...we are always preaching a message by the way we live and what we speak, but that message is magnified when there is pain or sorrow attached to it.  What is my message?  What is yours?  I so want to declare the goodness and love of my Savior at all times.  Please pray for me to be more faithful in declaring His unsurpassed worth and glory every day that He gives me breath.

1 comment:

  1. My constant reminder to myself is to be careful to love the Giver, not just His gifts. I think sometimes a gift is withheld from me to ensure that I've not forgotten.