Monday, June 10, 2013

Just a kiss?

An excerpt from Douglas Bond’s book: 
Fathers & Sons Stand Fast  (pg 135)

“What’s the big deal?  It’s just a kiss.” So says the postmodern world you live in.  Wiser minds through the centuries, however, have not agreed. 
Renaissance scholar Desiderius Erasmus of Rotterdam (1469-1536), in his colloquy The Wooer and the Maiden, exposed the sexual impatience of a young man attempting to woo Maria, a chaste young woman who liked him but was wisely cautious.

His advances frustrated, the young man asked, “Shan’t I have anything from you to take with me?”

Maria replied, “This scent ball, which may gladden your heart.”

“Add a kiss at least,” moaned the wooer.

Maria said, “I want to deliver to you a virginity whole and unimpaired.”

The wooer scoffed. “Does a kiss rob you of your virginity?”

Maria cleverly replied, “Then do you want me to bestow my kisses on others too?”

The wooer was indignant.  “Of course not.  I want your kisses kept for me.”

“I’ll keep them for you,” Maria replied, and for that reason, “I wouldn’t dare give away kisses just now.”  She offered him a handshake instead and concluded, “Meanwhile, I’ll pray Christ to bless and prosper us both in what we do.”


  1. You know, I have a discomfort when people take one thing and start to equalize it with something else. Kissing is not the same thing as having marital relationships. The young man in the story could equally say he didn't want her to spend time with another man, or think about him, but that doesn't mean his preference makes a Biblical standard. Just my two cents, though.

    1. Hi Kerri,
      Thanks for your two cents...I always appreciate our interactions. I realize there are varying views held by the very people I love, and my intent in sharing this quote was not to equalize a kiss with fornication...let each search the Word of God for that which is pleasing to Him, and by His Spirit live for His glory.
      For my own two cents worth, since I made no comment when posting the quote, I will say this. I see a woman with a standard of purity that she wishes to maintain that prohibits herself giving any kind of affection to a man that would be limited in her mind to a spouse, prior to having that spouse. And I see a man asking her for this kind of affection prior to entering a covenant of marriage with her. The question she asked simply showed the young man by his own reply his own double standard, and it hopefully helped him see his own need to wait patiently for her affections til he wins them via marriage.
      I see this woman as one of wise and noble character, not willing to compromise for this man or any other, and gracious with her persuer. The gift of her virginity/chastity/purity (including kisses in this woman's mindset)is to be given upon marriage, not before. And her commitment to not compromise them is honorable.

  2. I don't know why but the first time I read that I thought he was going off somewhere and was wanting a kiss goodbye-like war or something. Now after rereading it I see I completely imagined that whole thing. I don't know where I even got that. But if he was one to pressure her at all she should have just dumped him. :)