Yesterday a group of beautiful Jesus-loving women gathered to celebrate the God's gift of life, the life of Chloe in particular! She's a sweetie, and here are a few words I was allowed to share at her baby shower:
Raising Chloe for God’s
glory…
Hello faith, goodbye
pride and fear!
Col 1:15-18 tells us: “He is the image of the invisible God,
the firstborn over all creation. For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and
that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or
principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. And He is
before all things, and in Him all things consist. And He is the head of the
body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the
preeminence.
May God grant all of us the desire and the grace to live in
such a way that in all things Christ may have the preeminence! Apart from faith in the Living God, we are
rebels seeking to exalt ourselves and our own plans. But as recipients of faith, we’re to be all
about His glory. We’re to delight
ourselves in Him and His ways. As
Christians, this is the arena in which we daily fight the good fight of faith. We are called to die to self and live unto
Christ, right? This applies to all of
us, young or old, married or single, parents or not.
But in particular, what does that look like in
parenting? There is plenty that could be
said, I’m sure, but I just have two main ideas.
- I was thinking about you
Brenda as a new Mama on my way home from Friday school.
- I was thinking about the
preeminence of Christ in all things.
- I was thinking back to
when my kiddos were younger, and simultaneously considering conversations
I’ve had with friends with grown children and lessons they’ve learned
along the way.
- Melanie had mentioned to
me earlier in the week that there was no devotion planned.
- In my swirling mind, two
main thoughts kept resurfacing and I wondered if maybe God was wanting me
to share them today.
- I called Melanie and she
welcomed the idea…I’d like to ask God to bless these thoughts and
encourage us all with them.
Let’s pray.
A) Brenda,
first I want to encourage you to remind yourself regularly that Chloe
ultimately belongs to God. She is His
workmanship. She’s made for His
glory. And God in His wisdom and
providence has entrusted her to you and Aaron to raise her up. Your job is to daily point her to Jesus.
- Live before her in a way
that demonstrates your belief that this is His world and He rules it.
- Teach her about Him
creating a good world, the rebellion of mankind and the gracious love of
the Father to send His son to redeem us.
- From her earliest days,
read God’s word aloud to her and delight yourself in Him before her
eyes.
- Let her hear you sing His
praises.
- Pray with her and for her
every day.
- Let her see you and Aaron
forgive each other and move forward in faith and love.
- Seek the wisdom of God
together.
- And even though it is true
that only God can change hearts; only God can give faith to our children;
aim for her heart. Pray for her
heart.
Does
behavior matter? Sure. But in your directing and correcting, point
to Jesus. If your concern is only outward behavior, check your heart
for pride. You may have fallen into
thinking that your children are YOUR workmanship created for YOUR glory and
that you can control them if you just apply the right methods.
The
truth of the matter is, Chloe will sin at times. She will misbehave. The question is, will you respond with anger
because your pride is hurt or will you respond with compassion that reminds her
of her need for the blood of Jesus to wash her clean? Will you shout the message “how could you? I haven’t raised you to do stuff like THAT?” Or will you humbly come alongside and strengthen
her weak knees as a fellow sinner saved by grace? When she is resistant to your
pleading, and your corrective efforts, will you faithfully plead with God on
her behalf?
And
the truth of the matter is also that Chloe will for behave well at times. Will you remind her at those times that God
is at work in her, and how thankful you all can be that He who has begun a good
work in her has promised to complete it?
Will you pause to give praise to God together? Or without one thought of Christ will you
burst with pride, seeing her as a reflection upon yourself? I dare say there is a difference between
being pleased and being proud relative to our children.
Another
way pride sneaks into parenting is when we get fixed on our own plans instead
of submitting ourselves to God’s. We can
see our children as assets or obstacles to OUR plans. When we’re running late, and our child fills
her diaper to overflowing just as we’re finally heading out the door, how do we
respond? Do we REALLY believe God
ordains ALL things that come to pass?
Can we trust Him with the “blowouts” of life? Can we trust His grace to be sufficient when
OUR sleep is disrupted repeatedly? I had
to wrestle that demon to the ground again recently…night after night sleep was
interrupted by boy wheezing, dog barking, girl bleeding, restless husband
elbowing and more… after a number of days I was feeling pretty justified in
being put out by it all…easily irritated, barking at the kids, the whole gamut. Then in mercy God made me aware that the
problem was pride…wanting MY way, not submitting to HIS. The problem was not REALLY the kids, the
husband, the dog, or the shower fixture that made a loud bump in the night. I became so set on MY need for sleep that I
was forgetting that God is fully capable of giving me the grace to live on
interrupted sleep. Once I repented, it
was yet a number of nights before I was given sweet uninterrupted sleep again,
but I quit being irritable and started trusting God to strengthen me. Pride gets in the way of the preeminence of
Christ so lose it whenever it finds you.
B) The second area I want to encourage you in
Brenda relates to fear. You and Aaron
will make so many choices as you raise Chloe.
It can be mind boggling and it started before she was even born, didn’t
it? You understood from the moment you
discovered you were pregnant that how you took care of yourself would affect
her, right? I bet from the getgo that
discussions about what kind of diapers to use, schedule feeding versus feeding
on demand, and so many other things started to matter to you in a way it never
did before because now YOU were going to be responsible.
Then
here came sweet Chloe into your arms…and questions began to flood your sleep-deprived
mind (Facebook status’ while you were still in Holland kept us all informed J):
- How do you get her to sit
in a car seat without screaming?
- What do you do when she’s
clean and fed but she won’t stop crying?
- And that is just a tiny
tip to this decision-making ice berg!
Everyone
around you has opinions galore; advice asked for and unasked for, but in the
end you and Aaron have to make the choices.
It can be scary and overwhelming at times.
- Sometimes you have to make
decisions on the spot.
- Sometimes you can take
time to think it through.
- You love this little one
SO MUCH and you don’t want to do her wrong.
- Let me encourage you to
live by faith, not fear.
Fear
will paralyze you; faith with equip you with all the grace and armor you
need. Remember that it is God who gives
life and it is God who redeems. Remind
yourself that He draws straight blows with crooked sticks every day so He can
use people like you and me. It is NOT by
your choosing perfectly that Chloe will fare well, it is by His grace. Remember that He loves her perfectly, and you
can rest there whenever fear rears its ugly head.
That
is not to say that it doesn’t really matter what decisions you make. God does use means. He will use you and the choices you make in
Chloe’s life. But we are to make those
decisions in faith, not fear.
- By all means, consider
your options. It isn’t always clear
to us but we can trust God to direct our steps as we search for answers.
- Prayerfully seek out and
benefit from the experience and insights of others in the covenant
community.
- Most of all, do not forget
to ASK GOD for His wisdom, my friend.
He tells us in the 1st chapter of James that as we come
to Him in faith and ask for wisdom, He will give it liberally and without
reproach. Whether we are searching
His Word, hunting down info on the internet, or interacting with
believers, we need the discernment that only God can give and He promises
to give generously to those who ask.
Though I listed this last, do not think of asking God as a last
resort…think of it more like breathing…you need to ask often to live.
I was
thinking about when Paul laid in my arms in the hospital, non-responsive. It was a minute by minute choice to trust God
rather than cave to fear in those long hours.
Sometimes the choices we make don’t have so much to do with a fork in
the road decisions to make (should we use cloth or disposables?), but choices
about how we respond in the situations we face which in turn teaches our
children how to respond. Bekah has had
nose bleeds, significant in number and volume, from the time she was
little. Certainly there have been many
decisions regarding her care, but also decisions of response. We began to believe early on that God in His
wisdom has ordained these in her life and ours to draw us closer to Himself,
and to mold us into Christ’s image, and He has.
People who have witnessed Bekah bleeding tend to make comments about how
composed she is, and she really is. She
doesn’t panic. She trusts. We trust.
We pray and we sing and we wait upon the Lord to stop the bleeding in
His timing, and we seek medical intervention when she bleeds too long. It is God’s grace at work in our life that we
haven’t panicked, but rather chosen to calmly pray aloud for God’s healing and
help to trust Him. Fear will rob you of
the amazing opportunities to trust the sovereign goodness of God, and to point
your children to Jesus when hard things hit in their lives and yours. But faith lets you hold unresponsive boys and
comfort/care for bleeding girls without doubting the goodness or power of God,
and God grows you all in the process.
Brenda,
we rejoice with you and look forward to seeing how God will work in and through
you and Aaron and Chloe for His glory. Good
bye pride; good bye fear…hello glory. May
God bless you richly as you walk with Him in faith. Thank you for letting me share a couple of thoughts
with you.
Love,
Connie
